What Does Mom Really Stand For?

Kid- " Mom, Can I have $20?"

Me- "What do you think I am made of money?"

Kid- " Isnt that what Mom stands for? " ( Made Of Money)


OMG. I kid you not! This came out of one of the kids mouths last week. She meant it as a joke and was laughing till her guts were going to burst. I was crackin' up alongside with her. She saw it somewhere online and had been waiting for the right time to use it on me.

This is what I get for raising kids with a sense of humor  *facepalm*

It came up in a conversation today with another mom. About how often a day I have to "budget" in my mind. Food shopping, gas, future clothing sprees, vacations, family events and just general things. I seem to have some kind of eternal calculator running non-stop in my head.

It NEVER shuts off. NEVER.

The neighborhood girl scout girl showed up. And OF COURSE, we have to have those cookies!
Its a must.
Its a treat.
Its a yearly reward and we fall victim to  those little eyelashes, wide-eyes and curly blond ringlets. No one can say no to that. Its marketing at its finest.

And again the daily calculator is guessing, adding, subtracting and fine-tuning my budget. Will I have funds? What will I give up for this and how to work around whatever else I need or will need in the next few minutes, days or weeks. Its endless. It feels like a burden. It's in almost every thought I have. Whenever I'm cooking, I'm splitting up the meats so it covers two meals instead of one. Saving half of my dinner so I eat it for my lunch the following day.  Is it supposed to be this much mental work?

Sometimes I just feel overwhelmed. I  would love to just think or plan something without the calculator ringing up the new total. Its not going to happen. This is part of being an adult.

My truth. My life. My way.

So my new plan is...  BEDAZZLE the heck out of the calculator. Decorate it and maybe jack it up an awesome music score. Everytime I have to "calculate".. I want to hear an kick-ass song. Something with a beat and that ROCKS.

Right now I've got "She works hard for the Money" in my head." Its got a good beat. :) I need more songs on my playlist. * calculator ringing again... argh*...

M

My truth. My life. My way.

I have one life. We all do. What happens in the hereafter, I do not know and I have faith in that it will be ok.  I need to focus on what is happening in the life that I am present in. This one. Right here. Right now.

Is it real?
Is it honest?
Is it Me?

The people I meet. The places I go. The things I think, say and do. Its a one time deal. No take-backs or do-overs. We can evolve and change along the way. We can grow, learn from experiences and make better decisions each day. We may fumble, fall and make mistakes along the way. That is ok. That is part of life. Part of the journey. You cannot make the same mistake twice. If you do, then its a choice. Not a mistake. Mistakes are ok. Hopefully they don't hurt anyone: just as long as there were no cruel intentions when you make them. Life happens. Pick up the pieces and move on.

Each day we are granted a new start. We often take it for granted. I know when I wake up I should be grateful for the new day. I often am and say a prayer. yet most often then not, I'm a crabby- morning person that is NOT fun to be around. And this is just me. Alone. I do NOT like myself in the mornings. Its just my mental framework. I wake up horrible. After I get my coffee or whatever I need to do, I go wake up the kids. And I always do my best to wake them up with a smile on their face. I often succeed. They grin. Smile. Giggle and wake up in a good mood. Some mornings may be long but they do wake up "happy." They say that is one of their favorite things about me.  A memory they have of me that I always do that for them. So....  there puts my first challenge to myself... why can't I do that for myself?  Wake up happy? What am I doing wrong?

This new mantra of mine." My truth. My life. My way. " Starts in a a few places. A blog. Friends and family.  Some of the social media networks. ( Facebook, twitter to name a few) I need to focus on me. My life is busy. I am raising 4 wonderful children in a crazy, face-paced world. I want to slow it down a little. An hour a day for me is not a lot to ask. Just to mediate, reflect  or observe ME. Who am I now and what do I want. Why am I doing the things I do and are they going to enable to allow me to have a better life. Emotionally and mentally?

Its going to take a while for me to learn how to calm my thoughts, questions and ramblings. Its going to take patience for me to learn how to translate it onto this virtual outlet.

I may succeed at times and fail at others. No worries. Its just part of the journey.


M

Book 'em Baby

One of my favorite childhood authors passed away recently.

Lots of friends have been talking about him these past couple of days. We mentioned the fact that they made a movie of this book and how we felt it didn't do the book justice. Some books are just better left alone. This was one of them. 

We also talked about how some movies made from books have actually thrusted the original book into a broader audience and really helped a newer generation get into them. Percy Jackson series, Chronicles of Narnia Series and Spiderwick Series are some of the books that we felt the movie were able to be respectable, honored the storyline AND inspire the audience. 

I read to my kids. A lot. I like books. I like collecting books. I like collecting series of books. I want that library of books in my living room. Wall to Wall. I want to be surrounded by books. I like the SMELL of good old books. My dad got me a Kindle for Christmas. Plenty of people are into them. I tried the first month and downloaded books. I enjoyed it for a short time and never picked up the Kindle again. I miss the feel of books. The smell, the texture, the pain in my hands from holding the book for endless hours because I REFUSE to put it down until the end. Its an addiction. I know. I don't deny it. Its one thing I am thankful for my family instilling me the love of reading. My grandmother and my dad are addicts as well. We always exchange books and short reviews when we see each other. I have passed that on to my children as well.

In this day and age, they may get distracted for a while with all the internet, smartphones, DVD's and electronic devices out there.... but somehow more often then not, I see them cuddled up in the corner chair reading a good book. 

Makes a momma proud.

I love you, Mommy

Here is my youngest and my little heart warrior, Jacob. We just happened to catch him with the " I love you" sign!

Some of you know that Jacob was born with a Congenital Heart Defect ( CHD) and had open heart surgery at 14 hours old. His heart defect with Total Anomalous Pulmonary Venous Return (TAPVR) and we had not idea of his condition until he was born BLUE and with rapid breathing issues. He was in the hospital for over a month in recovery. He came home on a feeding tube (NG) for several months then graduated to normal bottle feedings. He also a few other issues but I will save that for another time.

He is doing well and loving life. We are so proud of him. And of course, when he gives us that smile, we just melt.

I love you too, Stephen Jacob!

Mommy

International Love

Family and Friends of RJ and Adrianna. Some of whom traveled from 17 different countries to celebrate and witness this joyous event.

Goonies!!!!

The night before the wedding we were invited to a famous restaurant in Bogota. It was wonderful! Dancing nonstop all around our tables. The food was crazy good that you just could NOT stop eating. All of us were going into the wee hours of the night salsa dancing. My legs and feet were sore, but when you're in a latin country NO ONE will let you sit. So dance I did!

And I had the pleasure to sit next to an amazing, strong, powerful, respected Latina

drumroll please......~ Lupe Ontiveros ~

Now you cannot fault me for placing this picture up. If you know me, I am an extreme GOONIES fan. Watched it growing up, loved it and raising all my kids on it! My kids have watched all the 80's movies ( pertaining to their appropriate age groups)

She was in Goonies, Selena, Desperate Housewives etc She was also a guest at the wedding and spend the week with us. She was amazed that there were over 17 different countries represented in the guest list and most of us were Deaf. This was a huge deal for Colombia. The deaf and/or disabled are treated not so well in a third world country. Their education is lacking and their futures are limited. She got the word out in the city and the newspapers came calling. I think it was nothing sort of a miracle what she accomplished. I wish I had the link to the newspaper article. If I find it I will come back and link it here. It is in Spanish but was powerful. We had an interpreter translate it for us while we were there.

The most important reason why I posted this was she taught me something. We should advocate at every possible moment. Everywhere we go in this world is a chance to make a difference. Awareness and Advocacy is import. Each moment counts. She is correct. That struck a cord in me. It made me realize that I need to something. Even something small will have a impact on someone's life. It makes me ponder how to use this when it comes to CHD awareness. Fun and Advocacy can go together.

Every moment counts. Everywhere we go.

I am blessed to have met her and hope to meet again.

Mia

Taste of India

I got a special treat while I was in Columbia.

I was invited to an Indian dinner hosted by the bride's cousin and his girlfriend. I have to tell you, it was AMAZING! The host is Nicolas Van Hemelryck. He is an Colombia photographer who was selected by the Columbia Embassy and The Indian Embassy to showcase photos of the Amazon. The Exhibition's purpose was to help promote awareness of conservation and respect for Mother Nature. He was selected among thousands of photographers.

He had just returned from a 3 month stay in India where his photos were on Exhibition. He traveled the country and took some beautiful pictures.We got to see a few of the thousands he took. I feel it is only fair to invite you to view his website. I am blessed to have met him. His photos speak to the heart and really invite you to his world.

http://www.nicolasvanh.com/

Back to the point...... They did a great job and the food was just nothing sort of delicious!

India is now on my list of places I want to travel to. Someday, somehow!

Mia

Dreaming of Sisga

Columbia, South America

I took a trip there with some friends last year for their wedding. I was invited to fly down earlier and see a little more of the country before everyone else arrived. The brides mother and aunt invited me to come along to their lake house in Sisga.

I think I saw a small piece of heaven.

Note: "Heaven is a place on Earth" by Belinda is now playing in my head.

They own a cottage on a lake in town. The cottage was actually without electricity that weekend due to a flood in the area that took out the power lines. This was actually when Colombia was in a state of emergency and there was massive floods in various parts of the country. It was great being there with candles and making due with fruits and whatnots.

It was serene and peaceful in the way of getting back in touch with nature. We sat around, read novels and told ghost stories. It was exciting and freaky. I ended up telling the bride that her groom would be sleeping alone that night. She had to share a room with me because it was just tooooo scary after the ghost stories. Can you imagine, me at 36 and still being scared silly! Good heavens!

I want to blog about my trip but just tried to learn how to upload several picture and how to type between the pictures. You can tell I have NOT mastered it yet. But I got three pictures in! Thats a good start. I guess its good to write about one part of the trip at time? Should I go with a theme week? I haven't a clue the best way to do this. For now, this is one part of the trip. Come back. I will have some more pictures of the wedding and some cool events that happened!

Mia

Insanity

I have had a headache for the past two days.

Head hurts pretty bad. Also the things INSIDE my head hurt pretty bad. My thoughts ran rampant through the Valley of Insanity, Over the Mountain of Chaos and Down the River of Tears.

Yes, That pretty much sums it up.

Look, life for me is crazy. I got four kids to raise. Their education and social well-being as been left to me. I gotta deal with making sure they have food in their belly, laughter on their mind and love in their heart.

I also gotta try to remember to take care of me. I have to appear sane and well-adjusted on any given day. I save the raving, crazy, crying episodes for night when the kids are in bed. When I am in the comfort of my bed and under the covers. Blankets make for good soundproofing.

Dealing with budgets, mortgages, life insurance, health insurance, food shopping, gas, family obligations, among countless other insane things a normal American family worries about. Its overwhelming and Taxes - don't even get me started on that. Its endless.

I really am amazed at how much us, as parents, have to process over a lifetime, much less on a daily basis. Today was a long workday. Also factoring in all the housework I had to do and I am still not done. I did spend a good deal of the day with the kids and we made a great pasta dinner. That was fun. Kids all did their chores and off to bed at a reasonable time. House is presentable and then I think..... wait...I gotta do it all again tomorrow. Oh, man........

Only thing that really gets me through this.. is all the hugs and kisses my kids give me everyday. Even on Crazy-Momma- Has- Lost-Her-Mind days.... they still love me.

I wouldn't have it any other way.... except maybe a glass of wine for the headache.

Mia

Old Me. New Me.

What did I do today that was different for ME?

I went to the Gym today and did my daily workout. Had a pounding headache and my legs were aching...but I did NOT leave. I wanted to, badly, yet I stayed. I did not do the complete workout. I adjusted and did some other workouts Stayed the full two hours. I even had my lunch there. There was something about fighting that urge to leave that felt like a workout itself. Then when I realized that I didn't leave.... I felt like I just accomplished something major.

Go with me on this.

Old me.... would have given up, used the pain and headache as an excuse to leave. Thus going back to the old system of not really following through with major things and ended up right where I started. It happens a lot. Not intentional but things pop up, I get distracted and my mind gets scattered to the point where I give up.

Baby steps. But each step is a step in the right direction. And however small it may be to someone else, it is huge to me. I am patting myself on the back. I deserve it. It has been three weeks of working out. I feel better. I do have more energy. I am enjoying going to the gym. I am enjoying getting out of the house.

So brings me to this blog that I am writing. I didn't know what to write when I sat down. I started with my evening routine. The kids are in bed and I caught up on reading some of my favorite blogs. I wanted to just go to sleep but I knew.... like the gym.... if I don't write something, anything... then I may end up failing on this blog. So I started with the above sentence and then this is what came out of my mind.

Its something... and thats what matters.

Mia

Planning A Family Trip

Here is a picture of the kids when we took them to Davis, West Virginia last summer. Only picture I had on the computer of them in water and warm!

Family Vacations are a must-to-do. Its important to spend time together outside of your home and daily life. Take a break, recharge and take kids on adventures. I want to give my kids more then just traveling to places and coming home. I am focusing more on education and experiences when we go out of town. Its nice to show them the history and stories of the places we go to. They actually enjoy it and set up quizzing each other. Its cute... until I fail a question then they 'buzz" me out of the game.

The reason I'm posting this is today I have been trying to finalize plans for our next family vacation. Its somewhat chaotic planning a vacation for a family of 6. Saving $$ for the trip, looking for deals and packages. In this economy, every penny counts. So the whole day was checking, double-checking... and just the stress took its toll on me. Thus why I need a vacation!

I'm excited. I need a nice break with the kids. Need some sun and seafood. We've had such crazy, wacky and unpredictable cold weather that a nice dose of sea breezes and warm sun rays are just what this mama needs.

Success! I posted two days in a row! Whew. The evening routine is feeling good!

Mia

A Lady and her Rooster

Today I needed some inspiration to get this blog going. As luck would have it, I saw one of my best friends online and ended up chatting with her. I read up on her blog and got all caught up with some of the adventures she has posted on her ever popular blog : Mountain Mama. She has a quick wit, a handy and hilarious approach to looking at life. She writes about her family and life in the country. She shares her tips and ideas on shopping with coupons to feed a family of 7 people, a dog, some cats and I have no idea how many chickens. Which brings me to this picture here of her with one of her roosters. I love this picture. She is my hero right now in blog world. She's found her ' blog groove'.

So with that in mind and a new computer. (I've joined the Apple World and got a Mac) I am now able to do pictures, blogging, website and whatever else my mind can conjure up.

So I'm on a roll.... New Lifestyle. New Me. Well... not new... but definitely Improved and Calmer Me. Here is what I'm doing or working on.....

----Apple Classes to learn the new computer. Blogs, pictures and Websites.

----Cooking Classes at William- Sonoma * free!!!! Yay!!!

----Gym Girl- Been hitting the gym 5 x a week and working with personal trainer. Gotta take care of me in order to better take care of my 4 kids!

I will post more on this blog. I notice nighttime is a good time. I'm well rested and ready for bed. House is quiet. Kids are snug in their beds sleeping. ( On a good day!)I can post about the events of the day. And I want my best friend to be able to keep up with the adventures that happen here just as I am able to keep up with hers.

Hats off to a Great Lady and her Rooster. Thanks for the inspiration today! Missing you tons!

Mia

Where I should be....

The Sea. A boat. A deep sea fishing rod. The beautiful blue sky.... this is where I should be......


Not home bound from a blood clot and a mini stroke! Seriously! Are you kidding me? I'm 35!! Its not possible. Yet, here I am!

OK. The picture may throw you off but its a better picture then me laying in a hospital bed! It wasn't pretty! I'm been pondering setting up a bed2bed salon service at the hospital. I would be racking it in! 5 days and no one to do my hair! Come on, already!

OK ...... getting serious here..... it did happen. Out of the blue. Two days of the worse pain in my right arm. Nothing made sense. By 3am in the morning, after crying for 3 hours straight, I hightailed it to the ER. Of course, I don't look like I'm in any serious condition.... but by the time they did the ultrasound on my arm.... I knew every ER doc and the nurse! They were running into my room! It was serious! I really didn't believe it. By this time it was almost noon the following day and I had no sleep and no pain meds. They did some CAT scans and send me home with meds. Cranky did not even begin to describe my mood.

Got home, took a 4 hour nap, woke up... then all hell broke loose! Husband tells me the right side of my face was "dropping" and my speech was slurred. I got up and was walking into the walls when I was aiming for a straight line. BAM! Off to the ER I go again!

They did 4 days worth of testing. Anyone who tells you being in the hospital will allow you to get some rest! I think not! Being awoken every hour for something or another. More tests, more blood work... * you know they took 15 vials of blood in one sitting!!* I was like. : Ma'am... I 'd like you to leave some blood in me so I can stay alive." She started cracking up and I was DEAD SERIOUS!. I wasn't laughing.

Now I'm home. Under house arrest to be more clear. I feel pretty good. A little 'balloon head' kinda feeling but otherwise I'm better. Got physical therapy coming to the house 3x a week to get my right leg moving again with more power. I need to be able to drive! She says I'm doing good. Shes tough and funny. Perfect combo to get me doing all those exercises.

So.... after all of this,............. Its a huge wake up call! For me. To start taking care of myself. I don't do a very good job of that. I'm always taking care of the kids or the husband. And things have been so crazy for the past couple of years, that I really threw myself under the bus and let everyone just run me over! Well, No More! I'm gonna worry about me for a while. I have to. I have done everything for everyone else except me. My kids need me alive. My kids need me happy. There are going to be some big changes around here.

Now, where do I start?

Been A While.....

Howdy!~

I thought I'd drop a line here in case anyone does drop by. Haven't posted in almost a year. I will be posting again soon.

I've actually been having more time to sit on the computer and read other peoples blogs. I have been getting on Facebook and following blogs that are of interest to me. Its overwhelming I confess. My head is full of so much that I want to share... I don't know where begin. The internet is full of so much about web designs and blogs.... that I'm trying to learn how to do it all and what to post. Bear with me... I'm learning. I do hope you come back time and time again as I navigate the blog world yet again!

My earlier post showed that I have a baby who was born with a heart defect. Life has been hectic since then. I have not had the mental time to write and post. I wanted to share that he is doing well. He will be 1 at the end of the month! Its been almost a year! Its honestly a blur........

He had open heart surgery at 14 hours old. He was in the hospital for over a month and come home with a feeding tube ( NG) He has a small bit of other medical issues but is overall just a happy baby! I will post more information about his medical issues....but honestly I just wanted to kick myself in the butt and POST SOMETHING!! Get myself started and then take it from there!

I have ordered a few books online and they are being delivered.... books about heart defects. I will start reading them and posting little bits along the way about what I learn. I also have been meeting people online that are involved in CHD awareness. I'm reading, learning and relating with them. It gives me peace of mind to know that we were not alone in what we went through. It also gives me great sadness that there is not enough awareness of heart defects. I knew NOTHING about CHD till I delivered my baby boy. And I had to learn FAST! Having his open heart surgery at 14 hours old.... give me no time to understand anything that was happening. It truly is a blur. I am still having issues with what happened. Now that we are coming up to his anniversary/birthday..... the memories are coming back. Its not easy. I confess. The raw emotions are overwhelming and I'm tackling it with information, research and reaching out to others.

I say a prayer everyday for my son Jacob, my children and other heart families.

Give me time and I will be a force to be reckon'd with in the fight for CHD awareness.

As this blog comes along............ I will find my voice. I will learn about how to post information, links and whatnots. The web world is huge. I'm learning....till next time~

Little Heart Hugs~
Mia

Birthday Girl!~

The Birthday Girl. Can you believe it? Andrew and I are amazed that our little baby girl is now 12 years old! I really do remember her being a baby. I remember her smell when she was born. I remember the LABOR PAINS! I remember it all as if it were yesterday. Here she is growing into a wonderful young lady borrowing my clothes and stealing my flip flops! How we LOVE her and are so proud of her.
Happy Birthday, Beautiful Girl.




We all went to dinner. We had someone staying with Baby Jacob while I dashed out of the hospital for an hour. The restaurant was next to the hospital so I was fine with leaving to celebrate her birthday.






Here is Daddy with his little girl! Andrew was so proud of her. He remembers when she was little and now she is almost as tall as him. He loves his little girl! She is Daddy's Girl.

Big Brother and Big Sisters!

Here is Anabel with her Baby brother. She LOVES being a BIG sister!



This is Joseph. He is THE BIG BROTHER. He is also has claim to Jacob to be a Dallas Cowboy Fan.

The oldest sibling, Marisol. She is such a great role model and very attentive to Jacob. When she holds him, she will NOT let go. Its amazing to watch the kids bond with him.


The Happy Family of Six!

Stephen Jacob

Here is a picture of our new Baby Boy, Stephen Jacob!


I have more at home but these are the pictures I have on my laptop. Again, I'm living at the hospital with Jacob. I wanted to share with you how beautiful our little baby boy is! His older siblings were able to hold him for the first time. I am still trying to upload those pictures but no luck at the present time.

Many Happy Hugs from All of us!

Jacob, Anabel, Joseph, Marisol, Andrew & Mia

Life in PICU

A New Journey.

Today Baby is 14 days old. We have been in the hospital since he was born. When he arrived in this world he was whisked down to the NICU ( Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) There they discovered his heart defect ( TAPVR) and scheduled him for open heart surgery to repair it. We were blessed to have delivered him at a hospital that is renowned for their Heart and Vascular Institute program.

After the successful surgery, Baby went up to the PICU ( Pediatric Intensive Care Unit) He has been here for 14 days. The doctors, nurses, case managers and coordinators are absolutely the best. They have been working with Baby and us as a family. They have been supportive and compassionate. I have literally moved into this floor. I'm here all the time. My grandmother and father come by to watch him so I can go home to shower and spend some time with the older children. My husband comes in the morning to be with me and get all the updates from the doctors when they do their rounds. To find out how Baby has been and if they plan to do the next surgery to repair the paralyzed diaphragm. So far, baby is recovering and they do not feel they need to do the surgery today. Each day is a new day. He is still breathing fast and has some issues but they want to give him time to heal and see how he does.

Today he was moved from PICU to PIMC ( Pediatric Intermediate Care) Which is a step in the right direction. They still have not ruled out the surgery and if they do the surgery, he will go back to PICU for recovery. PIMC is one nurse to two patients. Which is good. He is being monitored and evaluated. A whole team of new people have been added to his recovery program.

**********************************************************************************

Speech Therapist- she will help evaluate his feeding skills and airway protection

His is currently on a feeding tube and oxygen assistance. He is on level 1 today. Which is great. His feeding tube is ND so until it goes back to NG he will not be practicing with bottle feeding. ** I plan to breastfeed. I am pumping every two to three hours. Doctors are feeding him with MBM ( Mothers Breast Milk) and their goal is to have him feed from the breast sometime later in his recovery. The breastfeeding topic is for a later post! :)

Physical Therapist-will help with development and how his body moves.

Baby's reflexes are good and seems to respond to the therapist quite well. He is strong for his age and being a 3 week early preemie. She is overall positive with his evaluation today.

Occupational Therapist- specialists in his movement and abilities needed to participate in daily life (play, self-calming-family interaction. Also play skills and visual skills.

Baby is going well. Today he was fussy and had a hard time with self-calming. She showed me how to hold him chest to chest. I admit I was worried with hurting him considering his open heart surgery. She assured me he was fine and at this point that is what he needs. I was thrilled to hold him to my chest. He slept for a while and I was on cloud nine! yay!

He still has his original team of Pediatric Cardiac Surgeons and Pediatric Cardiologist. They check in on him approx. 4 to 5 times per day alongside 4 resident doctors per shift.

***********************************************************************************

The PIMC room is cozy. The colors are purple and green. The room is quiet. The PICU was full of beeps, flashes and constant noises. The room in PIMC has its own bathroom with a shower! Yay! I don't have to go home everyday for that! TV/DVD, CD player ( provided by Bradys' Smile ; will elaborate on that in a later post) Overall a much calmer room and I feel I can see the light at the end of the tunnel towards going home with Baby. PICU is hour by hour and was hard for me to see past today towards the future.


I guess this blog will be the beginning of me talking about this new journey we are on with Baby and having a child with a heart defect (CHD) I have three older kids and I will talk about them also. The family dynamics have changed. Adding a new baby to the household will do that. We are blessed that Baby is part of our lives. He is a tough little cookie and seriously just makes me happy. The older kids are in love with him and very adaptable to the situation. We learn as we go. We are a family and we're glad you're visiting this blog and hope that you come along this journey with us. If you are going through something like this, or have been through something like this please feel free to share your thoughts or experiences. Send me emails or post comments. I am joining local organizations as well as National Organizations. I plan to post blogs daily, several times a day ( whenever a thought pops up) or as often as Baby allows me to.

A very tired and happy mom of four crazy, wonderful kids!

A New Baby Boy!

A new baby boy!

We welcomed our new baby boy on June 29th at 10:05pm.

He came into this world at 7lbs 13 oz. Full head of hair and the cutest little nose!

He was born with a rare heart defect called Total Anomalous Pulmonary Venous Return
(TAPVR) He had open heart surgery at 14 hours after his birth. He has been recovering in Pediatric Intensive Care Unit ( PICU) since then. His heart surgery is successful. His developed another complication with his lungs. His left diaphragm is paralyzed and causing him to have rapid breathing and there is talk of another surgery to help with this.

As of today he is still in PICU. His heart looks good. His breathing is still fast. He is on oxygen assistance and a feeding tube. I have been pumping breast milk since he was born. I have a freezer full of milk and in need of more freezer space. I will be storing some over at my grandmother's home for a while. They did give him my breast milk at one week of age but there was issues from surgery so they went to a formula with less fat. They plan to return him back to breast milk sometime today or tmw. I honestly do not know when I will be able to breastfeed him naturally.

Yesterday, June 11 I was able to hold him for the first time. I was in awe of how light he was and how beautiful he looked in my arms. My husband came later that evening and got to hold him also. I will post pictures when I can. I am using the laptop at the hospital. I sleep overnight at the hospital and rarely go home.

The past13 days have been amazing. Baby is such a tough little cookie. He has been progressing so well that the doctors are amazed. He is still "critically sick" as they say but is doing well and they are hopeful that his recovery is moving along.

I have 13 days of stories to tell and I hope I will be able to share with you. I am just getting settled into a routine and my train of thoughts are more relaxed. Its been a string of doctors, medical information overload and just running on autopilot. I am blessed to have such a huge support system of family and friends. I cannot begin to thank everyone enough.

I will post more information along the way. Pictures as well.

Today I will get to play with Baby more. and hold him more upright. They tell me it will help his lung muscles and I am all for it!

Bless you and your families!

Take me Out to the BallGame

"Take me out to the ball game,
Take me out with the crowd.
Buy me some peanuts and cracker jack,
I don't care if I never get back,
Let me root, root, root for the home team,
If they don't win it's a shame.
For it's one, two, three strikes, you're out,
At the old ball game."

Fathers Day 2009.

We took Daddy to the Nationals Stadium in DC. I had the kids dressed up in the cutest shirts ever!. I got them down in Florida from Universal Studios. Before anyone asks, I have one more for the new little one due soon. " Thing 4". I love Dr. Seuss and his books. I have read them all to my kids and still to this day I break out in laughter and grins when I read them.

I didn't realize how "big" I was getting until I saw this picture! Whoa, Mama! Seriously? There is another kid in there? I have to give birth again?

At the baseball game, Daddy was sure pointing out all the babies. Their outfits, their strollers, how many times the babies were shuffled back 'n forth between their parents. We laughed so much realizing we were going through this again. He was enjoying every moment and started getting really excited about the baby. We had one small backpack between us. ( for the raincoats) and I was just pondering how many things I'll be bringing with me when we go out with the baby. ( Strollers, diaper bags, toys etc etc..) I know we're blessed with the three older kids. They are excited and they will be a huge help. They have plans for the baby that don't include me and the husband. I wonder if I'll ever see my baby once the kids get a hold of him. *winks*

The day went great. It was sunny and breezy.
Couldn't have asked for a better day.
Couldn't have asked for a better man to be the father of my kids.
I love you, honey.